Saturday, July 25, 2009

Long post full of stuff

Yesterday I got inducted into mommyhood. It started off as a pleasant enough day, he was only mildly fussy and easily calmed as long as he was asleep in momma's arms. I had tried to put him down several times throughout the morning and he was just not having it. So around 11, with one arm having just fallen asleep and one arm having been asleep so long that I think it might as well have been classified legally dead, I went into the kitchen to fix his bottle. Sitting at the computer chair he drank his bottle with his normal never-going-to-eat-again vigor and while doing so let out a healthy, stinky, farty poo. Once bottle was finished and he realized he was getting no more and thus stopped sucking the air we went to the changing pad to rectify his dirty diaper. I had just gotten the old one off and was about to slid the new one on when I heard, smelled, and saw something horrific! My angelic child decided to empty the entire contents of his bowels. I was in a state of shock! I just stared at him with my mouth hanging open, his legs up in the air and a clean diaper inches from him bum. It was all over the place, the carpet, my pants, his blanket, him...everywhere! As I tried to pull myself together at that moment he decided to shower me with urine as well...because if he is going to do something by golly he is going to do it right. As I was getting sprayed I snapped back into reality and quickly covered the tiny sprinkler. I stood up and took off my pants so I wouldn't get poop everywhere, I then ran to grab the phone leaving him on the floor making poo angels with his kicking feet and called Jonathan who was on his way home for lunch. I managed to yell into the phone "how long until you are home" "poo, everywhere" and then I hung up. I ran to get my spot remover that I use for poop and clothes and sprayed the carpet. Picking up little man (who was still screaming and making poo angels) I made my way to the bathroom. I tried to get the shower curtain open with my back and the baby held away from me to minimize poop transfer but it wasn't working. I then tried to put him in the sink but he is too fat for the tiny sink and so all I ended up doing was getting poop all over the bathroom vanity. So I said screw it and hugged the baby to my chest with one arm and opened the curtain. While getting his outfit off we got poop all over the side of the tub and I, holding a poop covered screaming baby was still half clothed. I turned on the water and while still in my underware and t-shirt got in the tub and washed my baby clean. It was then that Jonathan walked in to see me half clothed in a tub full of water singing to a very happy baby. What a mess!

Today Jonathan snapped a few pictures of him and me doing some practice sitting up.

Also, I have been trying to get him to smile at me for the last couple of days (to no avail). Here is me making a funny face at him...he isn't too sure about it.

And here is him and me. He has such a big head. I am sure he will grow a neck someday but as for now he has chosen to go sans neck.

Now I thought I would share the most romantic song in the world! It is by a band I am not too fond of but I swear this song is the best. I told Jonathan if I go before him I want him to play this at my funeral...I wonder if he will. Anyway, enjoy!

And I since I am in such a sharing mood I thought I would show you all my favorite advertisement. I don't know what it is about this commercial (ok that's a lie it's the music and the cute animals) but it makes me want to go out and buy 1000's of dollars in Dawn!

1 comment:

  1. It's a good thing I wasn't drinking my diet pepsi when I read this because it would have been spewed all over the monitor. "Poo angels" ROTFL!!! That is a very cute baby by the way. Whose grandson is he?