Monday, January 18, 2010

The old lady who is just going to take the shuttle thank-you-very-much

The other day my mother and I were having a conversation and during this conversation I stated in a matter-of-fact way that I was totally going to be one of those old women. Picture me a century from now at the ripe old age of 125 and my great grandkids want me to take them to the mall. They pop on over to teleporter and say "you first grandma" and I say "no way in hell". "I am not going into there when there is a possibility I will come out on the other side with my arm coming out of my forehead and a monkey tail that I distinctly remembered not having." I will then inform them that I will take the shuttle. "It's on Jupiter," they will lament. "It will take TEN minutes via the shuttle". They will then proceed to roll their eyes at me and think that I am so old as I launch into a speal about how getting to the mall use to take 45 minutes when I was their age and that was on Earth! They will then tell me that a shuttle is eleventybillion times more dangerous than a teleporter. "What if there is a crack in the haul and your lungs get sucked out of your body" they will say. "What if your breaks fail and you crash into a piece of floating space debris" they will yell. "Or worse what if you run out of gas on the wrong side of Mars." To which I happily reply "I will meet you in the food court" as I shuffle off to the shuttle because I would rather have my lungs sucked out, crash into a space debris, AND get shuttle jacked by martians, then break down my cellular structure into a bazillion different pieces, have them fly through space and hope they reassemble on the other side.

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